if i hear “transition words” one more time im gonna shit
Advantages to dating an asexual
- you know we aren’t in it for your body
- we seriously like you for your personality
- minimal worry about cheating
- we’re super lovable
- we like to just hang out with you
- no sexual tension to deal with
- we’re basically a super-friend
i need to finish getting ready but i have a dog snuggled against my legs, under the covers, on my left, and a jelaous rat disguised as a dog snuggled against my lap on my right.
i hope you suck an awesome dick, like, a titan of cock. i hope you suck a beautiful, gilded dick. i hope halfway through, the person who’s dick you’re sucking on sneezes.
i hope you fucking choke on it, and that the only thing you can remember from what would otherwise be a magical, life changing experience, is the sensation of a too-perfect dick slamming against the back of your throat.
i hope your oral days are ruined.
i made a shocking discovery today