"sweet diddly nibblets my family has been killed in a fire i must avenge them"
"Do what you must, country music sensation Billy Ray Cyrus," the inferno roars, "but your family is dead."
Thick tendrils of heat seem to laugh as they reach out and caress the musicians bestubbled face.
"I have already won."
"dang nabbit inferno my heart is breaking but i still yearn for you" a tear trickles down billys wrinkly hairy face.
"you may have one this battle but the war is not yet over." the US army appears and hugs billy ray. "i love to hate you, inferno but it is you going to hell… not i…"
"Do you not remember, Billy Ray?" the blaze asks, voice thick with yearning, "that night we spent under the stars?"
The flames draw ever closer, surrounding the former father of six, and the military that has surrounded him both with their arms, and with their love.
"I told you, then, that not even the whole of the United States armed forces could come between us."
“I meant it.”