we'll be filing an ASS action suit.

if i hear “transition words” one more time im gonna shit

and-todays-obsession-is:

Advantages to dating an asexual

  • you know we aren’t in it for your body
  • we seriously like you for your personality
  • cuddling
  • minimal worry about cheating
  • we’re super lovable
  • we like to just hang out with you
  • no sexual tension to deal with
  • we’re basically a super-friend

i left both my headphones and my coffee at home.

i need to finish getting ready but i have a dog snuggled against my legs, under the covers, on my left, and a jelaous rat disguised as a dog snuggled against my lap on my right.

i hope you suck an awesome dick, like, a  titan of cock. i hope you suck a beautiful, gilded dick. i hope halfway through, the person who’s dick you’re sucking on sneezes.

i hope you fucking choke on it, and that the only thing you can remember from what would otherwise be a magical, life changing experience, is the sensation of a too-perfect dick slamming against the back of your throat.

i hope your oral days are ruined.

i hope you suck an awesome dick, like, a titan of cock. i hope you suck a beautiful, gilded dick. i hope halfway through, the person who’s dick you’re sucking on sneezes.

i hope you fucking choke on it, and that the only thing you can remember from what would otherwise be a magical, life changing experience, is the sensation of a too-perfect dick slamming against the back of your throat.

i hope your oral days are ruined.

i’m gonna be at school for 13 hours today. death would be more merciful.

jonahryantology:

i made a shocking discovery today

jonahryantology:

i made a shocking discovery today